No, not stronger, just better

On my birthday, I found this statement: Life doesn’t get easier, you just get stronger.

At a glance, it seems true. It feels right. But when I think about it again, nope. That is a big fat lie.

I think it’s not that we are getting stronger (as we get older). We just get better at some things.

Better at not giving a damn. Well, at least for a while.

Better at holding your anger (hmmm….not me though. I know some people who do get better at this as they age and I admire them).

Better at finding good hiding places to just…..cry until you cannot produce anymore tears.

Better at hiding the traces of tears.

Better at making so many more masks.

Better at finding true friends who you know understand you and will always be ready for you.

Better at identifying things that you know will soothe you when you’re upset (without spending too much money which at the end can make you more upset than you were the first time!).

Better at acknowledging your feelings so you know what to do with them.

So we just get better at some things.

As time goes by, life keeps giving us so many chances to practice so many different skills. So many trials and errors that somehow help us to find proper ways to solve life’s riddles and surprises. So many varieties, day in day out.

Is better equal to stronger?. I don’t know. But to me, it isn’t. If it was, then how come there were always times when I felt like I wanted to give up? (or throw up, or give in, or run away...see...flight vs fight. If you are  honest to yourself, there are times you wish you can just choose flight). That is not a sign of strength, well not to me. But I know I just get better at dealing with that kind of negative emotion. That is all.

So, I now find a better expression. More fitting with life. More fitting with age. And more fitting with the reality.