Tuesday, December 27, 2011

2011 - the year of taking leaps of faith

The bad news is time flies. The good news is you're the pilot.

It's true, isn't it?. And upon reading it, I couldn't help smiling thinking of all the things I've gone through this year, thanks to being the pilot, or, forgetting it's actually ME on the pilot seat!.

So this year will soon past us. Is it a good one, or bad one?. Well, as a pilot, you should know your own journey, I guess.

Looking back, I personally feel this has been the year where I've taken so many leaps of faith. To do things that I never thought I'd do. Things that at first scared me, but then, I decided to do it for many reasons. But mainly, because I feel ashamed to God if I never took any of those.

1. The arrival of Baby Lila

Finally, after 3 long years of waiting. Here she is. A beautiful baby girl that we've all been waiting for is finally in our home, with a little help of a petri dish! ;)

Something that I was first very scared even to think about. But then I thought, God may actually want to test my faith for doing so.

Adinda Noura Khalila
- a sweet, kind, little sister who lights up our lives. A chance for me to remedy what I haven't done in the past: being a BETTER breastfeeding mom. And hopefully I can do it this time. For her sake.

And hopefully Tara will no longer feel so alone. And she can now share all that love inside her with her little sister whom she never stops kissing!.

2. Eye to Eye is in town!

I've FINALLY taken the pilot seat. I've conquered my fears, my worries.

I've finally said to myself,
"Oh c'mon, what have you got to lose (aside from money maybe) from trying?. Even if you fail, you can always say to yourself at least I've tried and know what I can and can't do. If you never try, you never know and you will always be that bitter person who complains about others but never really know how hard it is!. Surely you don't wanna be that kind of a person, do you?".

And yeah you've guessed it right. That was it to stop me from 'considering' to 'doing'. I've always told myself that money is not an end, it's a means to an end. So this is my end: conquering my fears, and seeing how far I can go and do things for myself and others. Hopefully more for the latter.

And of course thanks to so many people who've supported me, and walked beside me. Without them I may have never found my courage either!!!.

So far I am enjoying the experience. Of course it's not easy, and God knows it will never be easy. But at least now I am on the pilot seat, with co-pilot and crews that I know I can rely on. So, at least, even if the flight's gonna be bumpy, we'll still be able to laugh and enjoy it. And hopefully have a safe landing most of the time.

3. Seeing Tara triumphs at school

It's not the grades that have made me happy. It's her spirit to learn that's amazed me. Her will to master what she learns at school. Which, needless to say, I don't think I've got that when I was at her age :D

But here she is, keen to learn and know more.

And it's our homework to keep her interest high (even now on her school break she's already asked me to make worksheets for her to work on so she doesn't forget all that she's learned!).

Now. Thinking of the lows of the year. Strangely, I've got none. Seriously.

I've turned 40 this year. And even that made me happy cause I've done something different on this turning age!.

I'm happy that I've still got my one and only sister. With whom I've shared a lot of woes and worries. I've got a lovely little family - and looking forward to more fun times together. I've still got my mom, a reminder of what I should be in old age: full of spirit and not giving up to old age and what it brings!. I've got the work that I've always loved.

So, counting my blessings, I think God's been kind to me. The question that still stands is, am I kind to God. I think I haven't been. So that's still my homework too (aside from the homework from Tara)!!! (God the merciful, please forgive this stupid creature of Yours. But I am, forever, Yours).

I am looking forward to 2012. Looking forward to Lila turning 1 and taking her traveling, the four of us, to other corners of this beautiful country. Looking forward to seeing Eye to Eye taking off to a higher ground. Looking forward to be on that pilot seat with a lot more crews, to grow together. Looking forward to seeing Cip taking a higher ground next year - I know he needs to be on that seat.

So yes, a lot to look forward to. And that's great!.

I don't have any resolution next year. I've got plans. And a lot of prayers. For myself, my family, and all others out there. May we all sail through next year smoothly. May we all be strong when storms, big and small, hit our boats. May God be kind always. And lastly, may we all remember how kind God's been to us and be kind to God in return, because only God deserves it.

Amen. Amen. Amen..

(R I R I)

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